HOW TO STOP LIVING IN FEAR
8 TIPS TO MASTER YOUR PSYCHOLOGY AND ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS

By: Team Tony

Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear that we’re just not enough – fear is a common current that runs through all of our lives. And if we let it, fear can keep us locked up in the prison of the comfortable and predictable, which prevents us from reaching our true potential. Living in fear causes a double conundrum where you’re unfulfilled with the status quo yet afraid to pursue anything better. 

But there is also a way that fear can serve a valuable purpose, helping us break through the frustration to achieve the life we truly desire. That’s right – if you allow it to, fear can become a tool for finding fulfillment. You must discover how to stop living in fear – or better yet, how to use fear as your ultimate motivator.

WHY AM I LIVING IN FEAR?

To stop living in fear, you must understand the underlying psychology so that you can actively work against it. To a point, fear and anxiety have a place in healthy human psychology. Fear is a normal emotion that signals a potential threat to your physical or emotional safety. It’s a natural response that helped our ancestors survive, but in the modern world, this response can become chronic or hyper-sensitive. According to the latest research from Harvard, just over 19% of the total population has experienced an anxiety disorder in the last 12 months. They’re some of the most common psychological issues in the U.S.

Everything from the media to caffeine has been blamed for our current state of anxiety. But living in a state of blame has never helped anyone solve their problems. It’s time to take ownership of your emotions and transform your life.

HOW TO STOP LIVING IN FEAR

With chronic fear, you’re not experiencing anxiety – you’re living in it. The fear response becomes a maladaptive lifestyle, influencing everything you think, feel and do. Living in fear keeps you stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle of defeat and frustration. 

The upside to fear is that the emotions surrounding it are usually so unpleasant that they drive you to find another way. There are many strategies for how to stop living in fear, from mindfulness meditation to physical exercise or seeking professional help. When you commit to facing your fears, you’re able to discover strategies to overcome them and find peace.

1. DETERMINE THE SOURCE OF YOUR ANXIETY 

If you’re living in fear, your anxieties have escalated to the point that they’re running the show. You’re thinking about your worries constantly without much mindfulness as to what’s behind them. To stop living in fear, you must pinpoint what’s causing your distress.

Get out a piece of paper and brainstorm a list. When you’re finished, circle the items that are tangible concerns – fears that your house will burn down, your kids will go missing or you’ll lose your job tomorrow. Start giving yourself a sense of control by writing a few actions you can take to prevent these things from happening. Also recognize the intangible concerns – fears of the apocalypse, alien invasion from Mars or worldwide economic collapse. You’ll see that these have very little chance of happening – but you’ll also see that these fears often have deeper roots. If your fears fall into this category, you’ll need to do some self-reflection to discover how to stop living in fear.

2. RECOGNIZE THAT LIFE HAPPENS FOR YOU

“Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you,” as Tony Robbins says. Truly understanding and accepting this concept is the first step to fulfillment. When you put an end to the blame game and start becoming the master of your own destiny, endless possibilities open up to you.

The reason for determining the source of your anxiety isn’t to give you an excuse to keep living in fear. It’s to help you assert power over those fears so that they no longer control you. Once you identify the source, you can change your story – and change your mindset. The first step is recognizing that you have a choice. You can blame outside forces for your emotions and continue to feel out of control. Or you can take charge of your life and learn how to stop living in fear.

3. STOP THE EXCUSES

Like blame, excuses are a defense mechanism we use to avoid facing our problems. It’s easy to push our hopes, desires and dreams aside when we have excuses: There’s just not enough time, I don’t have the money or the resources, I have a family, I’m too busy. And we start to hide behind those excuses instead of taking action to move forward.

Excuses are comforting when we’re living in fear. They’re safe. But excuses will also bring you back to exactly where you started. Remember that the next time an excuse floats into your mind. Are you truly where you want to be in life? Or are you falling back on fear and choosing to be comfortable instead of facing a challenge? By becoming more cognizant of your brain’s proclivity for using excuses so you won’t be held accountable, the better you will become at dismissing them.

4. TURN YOUR “SHOULDS” INTO “MUSTS”

In your mind, if you have no choice but to succeed – if achieving your goal is an absolute must – then nothing else matters. Sacrifices won’t even be a question. Excuses go out the window. You’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Period.

Even the most successful people feel like they’re living in fear sometimes. The difference is that rather than allowing fear to creep in and suck the life right out of their dreams, they know that the price they will pay if they don’t give their goals and visions every ounce of energy and focus they have is far scarier. They know the real fear is living a life where they have settled or compromised what they really wanted. How do you adopt that mindset and perspective?

Try imagining yourself when you are 80 years old, nearing the end of your life. You are sitting in your rocking chair, reflecting on how you lived your life. Now, look back on your life as if you had not achieved the goal you are after at this moment in your life. How has this affected the course of your life? What are your regrets? What do you wish you had made more time for? What do you wish you had tried? Is there sadness and regret? Are you wondering, “What if…?” In this way, you can use fear to propel you toward your ultimate goal.

5. ADOPT A GROWTH MINDSET

People often give up on what they want because they believe that reaching their goal is beyond their abilities. They continue living in fear and settle into their lives, thinking that their goal is unattainable so they shouldn’t try at all. But the most successful people foster a growth mindset. They don’t think of their abilities as fixed, but rather as flexible. And when faced with a setback, they try harder. They adopt a new strategy. They keep seeking a solution. They don’t give up when things become challenging. Instead, they find new ways to adapt and work harder to achieve their goals.

6. LEARN THAT PAIN BRINGS VALUABLE INSIGHT

There isn’t one successful person in the world who hasn’t had to overcome major obstacles. The most painful experiences can help refine what you want and what you don’t want in life. Failure, disappointment, dead-ends – these can all be used as a means of reflecting and saying, “This didn’t work. It wasn’t the right fit. So what do I really want?” Remember, we are built to adapt. So embrace this strength and use each experience as a tool to help you learn more about yourself and what you really must have in life. When you’re facing a painful experience or feel ready to give into fear, picture someone you admire who faced adversity – they wouldn’t have achieved the success they now have without learning how to stop living in fear.

7. PRACTICE SELF-CARE

Mastering your emotions and changing your mindset is psychological – but would you be surprised to learn that the psychological is also physical? Next time you feel like you’re living in fear, try changing your posture and adopting a “power pose.” It can make you feel more confident and less fearful.

Other self-care habits have an effect on your state as well. Physical activity is proven to reduce depression and anxiety, so next time you feel fear coming on, get out and go for a walk, practice yoga or take a bike ride. Mindfulness meditation, including priming and other morning rituals, is also proven to combat anxiety and depression and even lower blood pressure. Eliminating caffeine and alcohol from your diet is another self-care tip that’s essential to lowering anxious feelings. When you combine physical and psychological self-care, you have the recipe for how to stop living in fear.

8. KNOW THAT FAILURE IS INEVITABLE

After all this work, you still need to accept one truth: You will fail. It’s just part of the process. Any successful person will tell you that. But failure provides insights and inherently corrects the faulty ways of approaching a problem. There is no teacher as impactful as the sting of failure. And no lesson in resilience better than the burn of rejection. But if you use these experiences as unique information, and adjust your strategy and approach the next time around, you will have an advantage that no one else does. With the right mindset, you can change your story and say goodbye to living in fear. 

If you’re ready to learn how to stop living in fear, you have to decide that your dreams are more important than your fear of failure. Make the decision today to master your fears and start existing as the most joyful, successful version of yourself possible. Get the support you need with Tony Robbins’ Ultimate Edge, your resource for overcoming obstacles and discovering your true desires.

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THE PSYCHOLOGY OF A WINNER
CHANGE YOUR PSYCHOLOGY. ACHIEVE UNSTOPPABLE SUCCESS.

By Team Tony Robbins

For everything we want to accomplish, we can easily come up with a handful of reasons why we can’t do it.

“I don’t have enough time.”

“I don’t have enough money.”

“It’s not going to work so what’s the point?”

Think of a few influential people. Do you think Ariana Huffington, Bill Gates or Serena Williams have had moments where they wished they had more time, energy or resources? Of course. It’s part of human nature to question whether or not we have what it takes to succeed at something. It’s easy to cite external factors as the reasons why we don’t fulfill our true potential.

The reality is, it all comes down to mindset. Leaders like Ariana Huffington, Bill Gates and Serena Williams have been able to find unparalleled success because they took control of their mindset and focused on the psychology of winning instead of concentrating on potential failures.

Success in life is 80% psychology and 20% mechanics — what you do doesn’t matter if you aren’t in the right mindset. Understanding the ways psychology can work for or against you will help you establish a healthier outlook and put you in the right mindset to execute your strategy.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL

There are many factors that affect the psychology of a winner, but in order to start truly changing your mindset, you need to hone in on your ultimate goal. Your Results Coach can work together with you to fine-tune this vision. Are you looking to take your career to the next level? Deepen your ties to your family? Grow your wealth? Once you have your goal in mind, your Results Coach will challenge you to understand your motivation behind it. Do you want to further your career so you can create a better life for yourself? Do you want to work on your personal relationships so your life becomes more joyful and full of love? Why is making more money important to you – is it because you want to give back to your community? Gaining clarity of purpose and identifying your “why” behind the goal is the first step on your journey to success.

BREAKING DOWN BARRIERS

You’ve identified what it is you want; now it’s time to think about what’s holding you back. It’s not a lack of resources – it’s a lack of resourcefulness. Not only is being resourceful one of the qualities of a great leader, but it’s necessary if you’re looking to advance your life. Once you’ve accepted that you have everything you need to succeed, it’s time to turn inward. Your coach will help you look at the limiting beliefs that have impacted your success. Do you believe you’re not brave, smart or tenacious enough to reach the next level of achievement? You’ll work alongside your coach to break down these unnecessary mental barriers, ultimately bolstering your confidence and creating a new and improved story for yourself.

REACHING A HIGHER LEVEL OF SUCCESS

Now that you know what you want and have broken down your limiting beliefs, it’s time to start working toward the next level of accomplishment. Your mindset is everything when it comes to achieving your goals. When you view life as happening for you instead of to you and are able to believe that you have the potential and drive to succeed, you can truly accomplish anything. You’ll create a plan with your coach as to how you can achieve your goal, and then it’s up to you to keep your mindset in check. Of course, your coach will touch base with you along the way to not only hold you accountable but to discuss where your mind’s at. Stay motivated to think positively. If you start believing that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, you’ll prove yourself right. As Tony Robbins says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.”

It’s time to stop making excuses and start working toward your goals. By understanding the psychology of winning with the aid of your Results Coach, you can make massive strides toward your objectives. Ready to transform your life? Give us a call or email today!

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5 Ways To Get Out of A Bad Mood In Less Than 5 Minutes

bad mood

Biting someone’s head off when they ask you a simple question is one sign that you’re in a bad mood, and it can ruin your day as well as that of the people around you. When you’re in a negative or ‘bad’ mood, there are simple things you can do to quickly change your perspective and help you feel much more positive about your day. Let’s look at 5 things you can do in just 5 minutes that will help improve your mood.

5 WAYS TO GET OUT OF A BAD MOOD IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES

Fake it ’till you make it is one way that people suggest getting out of a bad mood, and by that they mean to put a smile on, even if you don’t feel the corresponding happy emotion that goes with it. It’s possible that faking a smile will actually help boost your mood, and we do recommend trying it, because there’s virtually no down side to it. Here are 5 other quick ways to turn a bad mood into a good one, smile or no.

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1. TAPPING

Tapping can get you out of a bad mood in less than 5 minutes. Tapping acupressure points on your body can help you get rid of negative thoughts that may be causing your bad mood. Read about how to tap your body to remove feelings of sadness, anger or anxiety in our article. You can do several rounds of tapping therapy on yourself to get out of a bad mood in less than 5 minutes.

2. EAT SOMETHING (PREFERABLY HEALTHY)

Hunger is a possible reason that you’re in a bad mood, especially if you’re stressed out and too busy to find time to eat. A healthy source of vegetarian protein can help change your mood quickly. Something as simple as a glass of almond milk can make you feel better almost immediately. Foods high in magnesium can actually help lift your mood as well as satisfy your hunger, but skip the chocolate to boost mood. Although when you aren’t feeling great, you might think to reach for the comfort of a craving food like chocolate, it actually won’t help as much as a good, vegetarian source of protein or organic fruit. Researchers studying whether or not eating chocolate helped improve mood found that people had higher depression scores if they ate chocolate than if they had not eaten any.

3. AROMATHERAPY

Just the scent of lavender or orange can improve your mood and decrease anxiety. Researchers at the University Clinic of Neurology at the Medical University of Vienna, Austria studied the effects of aromatherapy in a place associated with high levels of stress; the dentist’s office. The researchers had 200 patients in a waiting room assigned to either waiting rooms with lavender or orange aromatherapy, music, or a control group with none of these. They found that both ambient odors of orange and lavender reduced anxiety and improved mood in patients waiting for dental treatments. Experiment with some essential oils and find one that will work best for you.

4. TAKE A QUICK WALK OUTSIDE

Researchers at the University of Essex in the United Kingdom looked at the benefits of taking a walk outside in nature as compared with other therapies for improving mood. They say ‘exercise has also been compared to other established treatment options, such as antidepressants and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) programs. Initial findings imply that exercise is equally as effective as both antidepressants and CBT, as no significant differences were reported between the interventions.’ They say that ‘green exercise’ as in a walk in the country or in a park is particularly effective at helping you get out of a bad mood in just a few minutes.

5. GIVE YOURSELF A PEP TALK

Positive self-talk can help improve your mood when you are feeling down. Often, there is a negative voice in our heads that is telling us to feel guilty, ashamed, or that replays the setbacks of the day. Maybe you are feeling lonely or rejected. We have to counter that negativity with some serious self-love to get out of a bad mood.

HERE ARE A FEW POSITIVE SELF-TALK PHASES YOU CAN USE TO GET OUT OF A BAD MOOD IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES:

‘I know I can do this because I’ve succeeded at tasks like this before.’

‘I am intelligent and I believe in my ability to get all of my work done today.’

‘Today I’m going to be amazing and I won’t let setbacks slow me down.’

‘I learn from my mistakes and I am going to do so much better the next time.’

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IS STRESS MAKING YOU SICK?

THE DISTURBING EFFECTS OF STRESS ON YOUR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING

Sleeplessness, headaches, weight gain, indigestion. Chances are you’ve experienced at least one of these symptoms recently. You may have even consulted a physician. But despite how common these afflictions are, they are often misdiagnosed. And the reason for that has nothing to do with how rare the underlying condition is. In fact, it’s because the condition is so common that it’s easy to overlook.Stress.

Stress has become so prevalent in today’s society that we don’t tend to think much of it. But countless scientific studies have shown that stress has a serious impact on our health and well-being. It even produces symptoms equivalent to complications from hypertension and autoimmune disorders.

But knowledge is power. The more you understand where your symptoms may come from, the more focus you can direct towards addressing the underlying problem. And to help you discern what ailments may be stress-related, we break down the ways stress impacts your health:

THE 14 WAYS STRESS IMPACTS YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH

Blood pressure: Stress can raise your blood pressure by temporarily constricting your blood vessels and speeding up your heart rate. This can be harmful to your health if sustained over time.

Food cravings: When you are under stress, you may find it harder to resist cravings for sugar or fat. You may also find yourself eating in an attempt to fulfill emotional needs — sometimes called stress eating or emotional eating.

Weight gain: Research has shown that when your stress and cortisol levels are high, the body actually encourages the storage of fat, particularly in the lower abdomen area. This belly fat, also known as visceral fat, in turn increases inflammation and insulin resistance in the body.

Heart disease: Coronary heart disease has been found to be significantly more common in individuals subjected to chronic stress. The incidence of heart attacks has also been shown to increase as a consequence of severe stress.

Insomnia: Stress causes insomnia by making it difficult to fall asleep and to get a solid night’s rest. Stress also causes hyperarousal, which can upset the balance between sleep and wakefulness.

Tension headaches: Stress causes your body to release chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. These chemicals can cause vascular changes that leave you with a tension headache or migraine. Researchers have also found that stress-induced fluctuations in neurotransmitters — like serotonin and endorphins — also activate pain pathways in the brain, leading to headaches.

Memory: Chronic stress has been shown to reduce spatial memory: the memory that helps you recall locations and relate objects. Researchers have also found a connection between an increase of cortisol and difficulty to form new memories.

Hair loss: Acute stress has been shown to trigger three types of hair loss known as telogen effluvium, trichotillomania, and alopecia areata.

Pregnancy: Severe stress can increase the chances of premature labor. There have even been some studies that suggest very high levels of stress can affect the developing fetal brain.

Digestion: Stress can cause or worsen heartburn, stomach cramping and diarrhea. The common digestion issue known as IBS, irritable bowel syndrome, is also thought to be fueled by stress.

Brain function: Brain-imaging studies have shows that chronic stress can reduce the amount of tissue in regions of the brain that regulate emotions and self-control.

Premature aging: Chronic stress can shorten telomeres, the protective caps on the ends of cell chromosomes. As telomeres shorten, their cells age faster and die younger, contributing to premature aging and shorter human lifespans.

Colds: Stress weakens the immune systems, making it difficult for individuals exposed to common cold viruses to fight off the germs successfully.

Sexual drive: Research suggests that individuals who are stressed out tend to have a decreased sex drive and a less pleasurable experience during intercourse.

Image © Pressmaster/Shutterstock

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BE THE MASTER OF YOUR EMOTIONS

THE 6 STEPS TO EMOTIONAL MASTERY

by Team Tony

We’ve all had situations where our emotions got the best of us. Often it’s because we didn’t realize what was happening until we were too far down the “emotional train” to change it. However, what you resist, persists. The best time to handle an emotion is when you first begin to feel and experience it fully. That way it won’t keep popping up time and time again. By following these six simple steps, you’ll start taking control of your emotions — and your life.

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HOW MARTIAL ARTS HELPS WITH STRESS RELIEF

Martial arts training is a great form of stress relief. You’ve probably heard that somewhere before. Maybe it’s come up at the gym or maybe you read about it in a wellness magazine.

If you train, you might even know this from your own experience. But do you know why martial artists are so uniquely capable of managing the often overwhelming stresses and demands of modern society? Let’s take a deeper look at some of the many ways in which martial arts can be a sustainable source of stress relief in your life.

1. Martial arts can create an endorphin rush.

According to the Mayo Clinic article Exercise and stress: Get moving to manage stress, “Physical activity helps bump up the production of your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. Although this function is often referred to as a runner’s high, a rousing game of tennis or a nature hike also can contribute to this same feeling.” “Endorphins act as analgesics, which means they diminish the perception of pain,” WebMD further explains. “They also act as sedatives. They are manufactured in your brain spinal cord, and many other parts of your body and are released in response to brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. The neuron receptors endorphins bind to are the same ones that bind some pain medicines. However, unlike with morphine, the activation of these receptors by the body’s endorphins does not lead to addiction or dependence.”

Martial arts lessons, which generally include a mix of cardio, strength, and technique training, are a great way to stimulate the production of these hormones.

2. Martial arts training and sparring can be cathartic.

In addition to the chemical rush that a good martial arts training session can provide, there’s also the more immediate and more conscious benefits that come from engaging in physical activity like this. Technique and sparring training can be quite cathartic, because they allow you to leave your problems at the door of your dojo and just engage in learning and practicing new skills for the pure enjoyment of it.

And, if you can’t manage to forget all of your troubles, you can always work them out on a heavy bag or other martial arts supplies. Sometimes the best way to manage your frustrations and stresses in life is just to punch them out (responsibly in a safe environment).

3. Martial arts provide routine and structure.

Let’s face it: part of the reason that life is so stressful is that it doesn’t often make a lot of sense. Rules can seem arbitrary. Hard work and reward don’t often have much of a direct correlation. And so much is simply out of our hands as individuals.

At the gym, there are consistent rules and structured lessons that make sense, allowing you to easily grasp what is required of you as move forward through belt ranks in your martial arts journey. When you invest in martial arts, you get proven benefits in return. Martial arts training can provide its students with a sense of agency and control that is often lacking in other areas of our lives. Which makes life in general just a little less stressful and overwhelming.

4.Martial arts can give you a sense of community.

Making new connections can be harder and harder as you get older. If you don’t already have a solid community, it can be hard to find an outlet for kicking back in comfort and blowing off some steam with the right people. Sometimes, even the act of trying to find a social group can be a source of stress. Although no gym or dojo is perfect, most martial arts training offers its students a positive, healthy environment that encourages both personal growth and the establishment of a community. Which means that you don’t only get the benefit of endorphins, catharsis, and structure, you also get to enjoy all of the above with like-minded people working toward the same goal. And, if one of you starts to get anxious about something in your training, you can always help each other through that, too.

5. Martial arts are fun!

Sometimes, all you really need to reduce the level of stress in your life is to tune out the outside world and just enjoy yourself for a while. And what better way to do that than to go to your gym and work on all of the cool techniques that you’re learning with your favorite training partners and friends?

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